Being known as a foodie couple on both social media and in real life, we usually proudly say “Couples who eat together, stay together”. But in reality, while food is obviously a big part of our shared interest, it took a lot more to build and maintain a healthy, loving and long lasting relationship that we shared through the last 5 years and counting. As with any relationship, it takes desire, effort, dedication and lots of communication to make it work. As our favorite saying goes “Relationships that look perfect from the outside – take work and dedication on the inside.”
As mentioned above, we’ve been together for 5 years now and every day has been a blissful experience for both of us. It’s hard to believe how after so long, we still find ourselves falling deeper and deeper in love with the other half. So in response to all the questions that we’ve received both online and offline, today we’re going to give out the five best relationship tips from our personal experience.
- Keep it fun
We’re one of those couples that fall into the category of “best friends turn lovers”. We might be a bit biased, but we totally believe that this is the best type of relationships that you can have. Even if you guys aren’t naturally soul mates from the start, a continuous effort of building a strong friendship will really strengthen and develop your romantic relationship as well. Being best friend with your better half means that you can understand him/her better on all of life’s aspect, share more common values and interest. While a relationship is hard to remain steamy all the time, when you’re best friends with each other, you can still have fun, be goofy or silly and still have the best time with your lover. Researchers have shown that friendship, not sex, is indeed the secret to long-lasting relationships. In addition, a good friendship between couple also creates a more committed, loving and sexually satisfying relationships.
- Keep it earnest
Being best friend, it goes without saying that we share almost everything with our spouse. But communicating during happy time is one thing, sharing vulnerable feelings during argument time is another. After all, it’s never easy pointing out the flaws of the other half when you know it can hurt them and hurt the relationship. But through time, we acknowledge the fact that in serious relationship, honest and skillful communication is as important as it is difficult. We have both made a commitment to always say what we want and express how we feel so that both of us can work on it. This is to avoid the worst scenario where one party keeps all the fault feeling bottled up and started developing distant feeling towards the other. After all, only earnest and clear communication from both sides can lead to better understanding in a relationship. Also don’t forget to be direct ( but thoughtful, accepting and constructive) if you ever have to point out the other side’s fault.
- Keep it sexy
One of the major pitfalls for long term relationship is that as time goes by, people start to take their relationship for granted, they stop making an effort and the flame start to die into sweatpants and laziness. People start to lose their patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort they once made when they first started dating. As we look at it, a romantic relationship without the flame is just merely partnership. Thus, no matter how much time we’ve been together or how tiresome the effort can seem sometimes, we always try our best to maintain that fire within our love. Keeping a relationship “sexy” doesn’t mean you have to make love every night, but rather, it’s a continuous effort to remain intimate everyday. It can be as simple as always holding hands when we walk, or always sleep on the same bed together no matter how busy we are. Personally for us, it’s about always putting our best face forward even during the most casual date and finding time amidst our busy schedule to kiss, snuggle and tell each other sweet words.
- Keep it thoughtful
Truth be told, no relationship is perfect. We- as human – are always created with our own uniqueness and individuality and it’s impossible for any two human beings to be exactly the same. Thus, when two people come together in a love relationship, no matter how much alike they seem to be, differences and argument are sure to come up at some point or another. The more you understand about your spouse’s difference, background and lifestyle, the easier it’ll be for you to resolve problems. We always tried to think from the perspective of the other and seek to do nice gesture whenever we could to make the other happier without being asked. This is a very meaningful way of expressing your love without even having to open your mouth. Last but not least, always trust your partner! “Trust” is something that we heard all the time and it might sound like a cliché word. But really, how could you truly open up to someone or spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t trust? Give them the benefit of the doubt – even when it seems like the harder choice to make. Hold on to each other and be willing to have each other’s back.
- Keep it communicative
Talking about personalities, personally, we are very blessed to find such complimentary love partners who share similar opinions and interest on a lot of things. Still, problems still come up once in a while and being thoughtful has always been the single most important thing. We always try to be there for each other and being fully present when we’re with one another, truly listening to what the other has to say. And for the differences in opinions or lifestyle that can’t seem to be resolved, we first seek to understand, even when agreement is not at all possible. Also, learn and use each other’s love language is also a crucial tool in a loving relationship. In Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” book, he stated that each of us all has two dominant love languages out of the five universal ones – physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation. Communication in the long run also helps build trust and strengthen the bond between two lovers. So be willing to open up and share you dreams, desire, fears and experiences with your partner.
Obviously, there’s no one fixed formula to create a happy, loving relationship. We’re all different and in turn, all of our relationships are unique in their own ways. However, we truly believe that trust, communication, friendship, honesty and intimacy are all crucial parts made up any successful relationships. In this post, we tried to share some general tips so that anyone can relate and benefit from our advices. If you guys love this kind of post, please let us know so we can share more. Also, leave us a comment; we’d love to know your best relationship tips below. Good luck!